Friday, July 25, 2014

It's a simple formula..and its all about perspective

 I have recently accepted that I have been holding in anger, self-hatred even, very self-directed,but it spills out on those I love. Snapping too easily, thinking of self too easily, and woe is me attitudes. I haven't like myself much, and I blame myself so easily, get down on myself.I mess up. I, (notice all the I's) well, I don't feel I measure up to who I should be, where I should be in the Lord, in my my walk.the old saying one step forward, three steps back seems to befitting of me.But a dear friend gently reminded me that its not about me, its not about how good a christian I am, or how far I am in my sanctification process...Its just that. Its a process. It takes time, it takes my whole life, and its not measured. Its about perspective here. I need to change mine...I need to stop circling the mountain and turn NORTH! (Deuteronomy?) I will never be good enough, or the perfect christian, or mom, or wife, or friend. Its not possible. I am a sinner saved by Grace-but its HIS doing, HIS timing, HIS! not me!!!!
Read this quote below that my sweet sweet friend Kris shared with me-knowing I needed it. Its amazing. Life changing kind-of amazing.

It’s a simple formula:

Monday, July 14, 2014

Be Still...and Run the Marathon

My mind has been a good way...thoughts on top of thoughts, digging deep, standing on solid ground and praising, questioning and finding clarifications...

I know have mentioned that I am trying to learn to BE STILL--find joy and thanks in being STILL, slowing down
BUT also to do what the Lord asks of me.

These seem two separate worlds, how do I merge them??????

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

How to Be with someone in The RAW moments...(God doesn't give you more than you can Handle part 2)

Ok, well the next post finally...
Back to the SUBJECT OF- God doesn't give us more than we can handle-this is a follow up to the above post- if you didn't read the first one this will make more sense if you go back to it first.

Please never use that when someone in in greif.....As a hospice nurse for years I learned that when someone is in a RAW worst moment of their life, platitudes like
--God doesn't give us more than we can handle--
and others often used ARE SO THE WRONG THING....
Ever wondered what to do, what to say???
ask questions that only allow them to talk. 
JUST BE There in THE RAW EMOTION with them.
Its ok to cry with them.
My formula is generally LISTEN, LISTEN...ask if I can read some scripture and PRAY...and my prayer generally only focuses on asking GOD to wrap his arms around them, that they may feel his presence, that He will bring strength and PEACE than may only come from HIM....thats it.....

its hard to just listen...I am a fixer. I just am.
It was hard to learn to step back, to not try and give comforting words, not "FIX". God taught me through HOSPICE to just BE THERE, to listen, even cry with, and to always offer to pray and read HIS WORD. Even those clients that were non believers almost always said yes that I could pray with them.

and now where I am, living with this "invisible illness"-fibromyalgia. I often get platitudes.
People either don't believe it...or they care, want to help, mean well but don't know what to say. I am living it from the other side a bit now...and I am not used to it yet. Its hard to be hurt, its hard when people don't understand, are ignorant or rude, even mean... the questioning, the wrestling with God I am learning, I am growing in HIM, in my walk with Him...and thats what this life is all about- my sanctification process, learning to Walk with FAITH, to act Justly, Love MERCY and Walk HUMBLY with my God. Learning to be THANKFUL in EVERYTHING, to FIND JOY IN EVERYTHING...I truly am learning these thing and can be thankful "even in".....

ok long post.... Just something I am passionate about  and as  I wrestle, I write...its just how I work...I felt called to post this one, to share my heart.