Friday, August 15, 2014

From LOW LOW LOW LOW to Highs Unimaginable...

Lord, everyone seems stressed to the max and pulled in a million directions today. Its palpable. Oh I pray that we may slow down for a second, and find God in today- get centered.
Its so hard when Life hits us- fight of flight is ingrained in us---and we just react.

I want so for my reaction to be to fly to you, but if I am being authentically real...Its NOT.
My reaction to a stressor is almost always fight or flight-anxiety, freak out, then try and solve on my own-flailing about, grasping at straws...until you whisper Stop...until I STOP, until I enter your sanctuary.

Time to get REAL-
Friends, I have had some LOW LOW different ways than some of ya’ll---
no busy craziness for me.
just lots of STILLNESS, lots of alone time, lots of physical pain, lots of emotional pain, feelings of loosing footing…
I have been feeling like a failure-trying to figure out how to grieve the loss of old me, accept the new me- the me with fibromyalgia- not being able to do my mom and wife duties ( as I see them)...fight with a hubbie who I see feeling overwhelmed with responsibility..who isn’t feeling respected..who I take out my frustrations on so easily-who I boss so easily, nag… Yep, thats me, my messy bared.

Then God sends me this reminder, these bible stories, verses-
I  lie here in bed, in a lot of pain, yet with a great big smile inside- feeling full to overflowing from my studying with God’s Word this am--so much so I am led to share.