Friday, August 15, 2014

From LOW LOW LOW LOW to Highs Unimaginable...

Lord, everyone seems stressed to the max and pulled in a million directions today. Its palpable. Oh I pray that we may slow down for a second, and find God in today- get centered.
Its so hard when Life hits us- fight of flight is ingrained in us---and we just react.

I want so for my reaction to be to fly to you, but if I am being authentically real...Its NOT.
My reaction to a stressor is almost always fight or flight-anxiety, freak out, then try and solve on my own-flailing about, grasping at straws...until you whisper Stop...until I STOP, until I enter your sanctuary.

Time to get REAL-
Friends, I have had some LOW LOW different ways than some of ya’ll---
no busy craziness for me.
just lots of STILLNESS, lots of alone time, lots of physical pain, lots of emotional pain, feelings of loosing footing…
I have been feeling like a failure-trying to figure out how to grieve the loss of old me, accept the new me- the me with fibromyalgia- not being able to do my mom and wife duties ( as I see them)...fight with a hubbie who I see feeling overwhelmed with responsibility..who isn’t feeling respected..who I take out my frustrations on so easily-who I boss so easily, nag… Yep, thats me, my messy bared.

Then God sends me this reminder, these bible stories, verses-
I  lie here in bed, in a lot of pain, yet with a great big smile inside- feeling full to overflowing from my studying with God’s Word this am--so much so I am led to share.

I blog today for a reminder for me to look back to, but also because I hope these verses can do the same for ya’ll- my christian sisters, my friends.

I was led by a sweet friend to read Habakkuk today, and that led me to Psalm 73. Its perfect for where I am today-for all of us really, whether I know your day or not...I know that we are all human, we all fall short of the glory of God on our own, we are all in need of Saving Grace.

SO here is a summary of what I learned- what I journaled today:

WHY... Is God silent?
do the wicked seem happy,successful, carefree?
let all this pain be felt?

Habakkuk complains aloud to God, twice he asks, once why is God not listening, and then why does he tolerate treachery....
twice God answers--- First--watch- I am working (allows babylonians to destroy...)
Second--My revelation will wait till my appointed time-- again WAIT for it.----
and shows that nations (babylon) will exhaust itself, ---and that evenutally the earth will be filled with the Glory of God.
(we don't know if Habakkuk lives to see any of this)
---but he does finally understand and believe in Chapter 3--- He stand in AWE of the Lord- His power
He speaks openly of how he is scared to the point of lips quivering, felt to his bones...yet he says he will wait patiently for the day of calamity to come on the nations that are being allowed to invade.
Though he sees nothing- no fruit, no produce or food, empty fields and pens-- Yet he says:vs 18
I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be JOYFUL in God my Savior.

Psalm 73---again talk of almost slipping, loosing footing, seeing wicked appear to have everything, while they can barely hang on-being plagued and punished feeling--grappling to understand---- READ THIS---
vs 17" till I entered the sanctuary of God"...
then they understood
--if we are grappling out there in the world, flailing along on our own, seeing evil look good--We need to put our head back in HIS WORD, come to HIS sanctuary of REFUGE-LOOK UP to him!!!!
Man this hit me big----TILL entered sanctuary of GOD!!!!!!

gonna quote a few verses
Psalm 23,24,26,28
Yet I am always with you, you hold me by my right hand
You guide me with your counsel, and afterwards you will take me into you Glory.
My flesh and Heart may fail, but God is strength of my heart and my portion forever.
But as for me, it is Good to be near God
I have made the Sovereign Lord my REFUGE.
I will tell of your deeds.

Isn't that all amazing- so comforting?????
It is to me.

God, that we may look to you always, seek refuge in you, that when I feel myself losing footing, flailing about, may I be prodded by you to STOP. to pray. to look back up to YOU, to seek YOUR face once again.
I can do this because I have FAITH, I can patiently wait for you;
for your answers that I don't have, because of the Faith you allow me, through your Grace.
May we praise you in the midst of our battles, may we be thank-filled-led to praise and filled with JOY right here is what sometimes seems the pits, the bottom, the unthinkable...

Lord, may we all find moments (even few seconds in the craziness or the hard) to Be still, Pray-even one word-"Help", Look to you ,for your guidance in the middle of our anxieties.

God, please help me today to THANK YOU-for the grace you give that I may CHOOSE to see, that I may say YES today to all you give. Do the work in me- I want to more fully live.
I am reminded that you do give us CHOICE.
May I choose, even with all the losses, to say YES to what you freely give, to open my heart, my hands, to FILL with your GLORY and GRACE- to fill with YOU GOD.
I am reminded that you have a secret purpose-returning us to FULL GLORY--with GLORY AND GRACE!!!!
Rest your hands on me God, quiet me, Fill me with PEACE- your peace that passes all understanding. Thank you Father- Amen

Love, Erika

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