Thursday, January 8, 2009

I've got the Blues.....the Job not Starting Blues...

Job Starting Blues...yep, I've got the the tune of when in the world am I actually going to start this new job??? (and the song is in my head, yes!)
I think I have had a handful of soft dates and now one firm date now gone. January 12th is not going to happen. The boss man swares he will have a start date for me by next Friday...SO WE SHALL SEE.
I think I have just had more than enough anxiety this week. I want to be trusting in you Lord. I feel tht I am, then I realize all of this anxiety, axst that is withen me. Will I ever get there?? Will I ever really trust, ever be free of this anxiety???? I know I said BRING THE RAIN... and I still mean it. I want to learn to trust in my Lord. I truley do, but I feel like I am a really really really really poor student.
I heard the bad news yesterday about the job starting a few weeks later and I went into a downward anxiety spiral immediatly. I even caught it, prayed, but still my emotions were haywire..
Does anyone else feel this way???
Lord, I know you are in control. i know you have a plan. Again, aloud I state that I am Trusting in your plan. You will take care of my family with our without my job starting when i think it shoud. My big fear of it falling through, its so irrelevant in your big picture, in your big plan. It matters so much more how I react, how I serve you and glorify you in the process. I feel like I blew it yesterday.
I don't know if anyone reading this can relate, or if I am making sense, but please join me in praying that I will react better to my next challenge, actually even in this one as it continues. Thanks friends and family that read this and pray for me!!!!

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