Home Again- Take Two

I came home from the hosptital on Tues afternoon (dec 29th, 2009).

So for anyone interested, here is the full story of what happened...the whys, the whens, and the hows....

On Christmas Eve morning I awoke in lots of pain. This was strange because I had been having a great,low pain recovery from my hysterectomy the previous week. Everything had been going better than I had even expected or hoped. So I lay there for awhile, took some strong pain drugs, and the pain seemed to worsen. I called my doc, and he of course asked the barrage of questions, one being did I have a fever. Well I didn't know, so of course I promptly took my temp and low and behold I had quite a temp considering all the meds I was on that should have totally eliminated a fever! So of course, being Christmas Eve the doctors office was closed and so I had to meet him at the ED.
By the time I got there I was in excruciating pain.
His partner, Dr. Hutchinson was on call and after the most brutally painful exam I have ever endured, some blood draws, ultrasounds, etc.... He announced that he was admitting me.
Immediately tears started streaming down my face. Tomorrow was Christmas Day, the kids? How is this happening?????
But alas, I was admitted.
The next two days were mostly a blur for me as I was in such pain, but I do know that I was on three strong antibiotics for a post-operative infection, and also strong pain medications, both via my IV.
As Christmas was in the hospital, my family brought the kids up a couple a times a day and they opened presents around my bed in shifts over a couple of days. I know it was good for them to have me there as they opened, but I was pretty out of it and don't remember much from CHRISTMAS DAY.

The kids really did have a hard time with me not being home. By the last night, Caroline was crying herself to sleep. It was rough on them all.

As far as my recovery in the hospital, truly after about 36 hours of antibiotics I began to turn a corner and my pain level began to decrease, as well as my fever,and I started to feel much better.
The plan then was for me to go home on Monday, having been fever free for 48 hours.

But alas, I, Erika Yaman, am never an easy straight forward patient... So by Sunday evening, into Monday, I developed Shortness of Breath big time! I could not lay down.
I could not swallow a drink or eat without feeling panic.
I had to sit straight up as if I was in a chair.
A pulmonologist, Dr. Mark Mason, was brought in to evaluate me. After a spiral CT of the Chest it was determined that no, I did not have blood clot in my lung, but I did in fact have what seemed to be pulmonary edema (fluid on my lungs). So I had to stay another night in order for them to draw all the fluid out by giving me a drug called Lasix, that basically just makes you pee like mad, and then stick around for them to make sure all was well.

So by Tues all was mostly well but they still wanted to try and figure out why a healthy 31 year old developed pulmonary edema. So off for another test, an ECHO ( a look at how my heart was working) to make sure that this was not a cardiac based problem. Thankfully Dr. Mason let me go home without awaiting the results of this test, so HERE I AM.
I AM HOME!
I am tired. I am still sore. But I AM HOME!
I am back on the straight road to recovery and so glad to be there!

Christmas in the Hospital Pictures

After opening a Santa present each and a good breakfast the kids all brought their stockings down to the hospital so I could be with them while they opened!!!!!

Later in the day my father and hubby drug lots more present all the way to my room so that i could continue to watch them open. We still have more to go, and I have to say overall my kids are taking it all in great stride. The balance of taking care of MOMMY and wanting so badly to open those presents they have been eying under the tree...I know its been hard on them. They are such troopers and I am so proud of them all.

BACK in the HOSPITAL- Take TWO...

I was having a great recovery, as seen in my last post. I was feeling on cloud nine overall- I did have post surgical pain, and I was wiped out, but overall I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

HOWEVER, as we all know my life doesn't seem to follow any straightforward path these days, so of course:

I woke up Christmas Eve in major, I MEAN MAJOR, pain. I could hardly even pee folks (sorry if TMI). I also was running a fever. Of course the doctors office was closed, so the doctor said he would meet me at the ED at Baptist.

Now its the Saturday evening after Christmas and I am still hanging out in the hospital, and it looks as if I will be stuck here through atleast Monday according to my doc.

I am getting heavy duty antibiotics via my IV.

It was very rough for me to miss the homey christmas with my kids. They came up Christmas Eve and decorated my room for Christmas and sang some carols to me. So sweet. I was really too out of it, in so much pain and on so much pain medication that I could hardly stay focused, but I know it was good for them to be here.

Here is the Christmas tree they decorated for my room:

Home, Home, Oh how nice to be HOME!

I have to say I am so glad to be home. I meant to be blogging daily, that was my goal...but surgery recovery, the business of having Jason and all the kids home, the Christmas chores(overseeing them-no I am not doing them!), Anyways... all of this has kept me so busy and mostly away from the computer since home from the hospital.

So its Wednsday. I have been home now for 5 days. Wow, the time does fly. I was so expecting the worst, the big surgery, the big bad recovery. I am so happy to report that this recovery is just so great compared to my fears!
The pain is less than the bad days before my surgery. I am more tired. I tried a couple of days ago to take a walk outside. It was rough, it made me realize there is still a lot of recovering to do. I am still taking the pain pills, but spread out through the day, and not 2 at a time as prescribed.
So....Thanks to all who prayed for me.
I feel like the prayers were answered.
Dr. Wild called yesterday and informed me that the tissue pathology came back and indeed yes, I did have ADENOMYOSIS. They did find something else though. I also had ENDOMETRIOSIS withen my uterus lining.
So YEAH, its out, its out, HOORAY! no more awful pain for me!!!!!
I am very hopefully that the sources of my pain were all removed and after this surgery recovery period I will be pain free.
Please pray that this is the case.
The doctors are saying that I may be left with residual chronic pain, but I really believe that they took out the sources and I will be fine, be PAIN FREE. I don't see why there would still be pain. So I have high hopes. I will not look for more pain to be there. I just refuse.

I cannot wait to be able to do all of the things I love once again.
Things I used to take for granted:
-Running with Jack riding his bike through the neighborhood.
-Just playing outside with the kids, kiddin around and havin fun outside.
-COOKING! --I am going to make my way through some of my new cookbooks that I hope to get for Christmas, or aquire soon!
-BAKING BREAD with Pauline!!!!---Pauline I just got BEARD ON BREAD--james beard's cookbook-- it looks so great!!!!!!
-exersizing, doing things to make my body healthy again! I used to love my time, my ME time at Golds...especially the Yoga/Pilates mix class I took

I cannot wait to train for a 5K again. I missed it last time by a week or so- got sick and had to miss it. Its a goal I WILL MAKE one of these days!!!!

I guess all of this to say, I AM FEELING HOPEFULL, something I haven't truley felt in a long time. I am loving it!

Uterus GONE...

So the surgery went exactly like I wished (meaning he didn't have to do an open incision across my abdomen)!!!!
I was thrilled beyond belief when I was told that he was able to do it the less invasive, faster recovery, much shorter hospital stay way. Though I have a beautiful view of First Bapitst downtown and the rest of the cityscape from this angle out of my window. Very pretty.

The only issue we have had is that my blood pressure has been extremely low. I mean really low. 80s /30s,to 40s. Not sure how I was able to be with it as low as it went... Definatley made me very dizzy.
I think that it may be creeping back up this am??? I am hoping anyways.

I have to say, I have never been to Baptist for a surgery, didn't know what to expect, but everyone has been really very attentive with quite fast responses to my calls.
The only thing that has been upsetting to me is that they wouldn't let me out of the bed all day or night to walk. I, being a nurse, wanted to push myself to get up and moving. Even with the pain it was hard to stay put when I felt like I should be walking the halls.
So, I am going to sign off here and GO FOR A WALK.

By the way--- I think it is true that nurses make horrible patients. I have been taking things off left and right since I got in my room yesterday am. I took the oxygen off, then came the SCDs (those pump things they put on your legs), then my stat lock holding the foley in place, and.......
Of course I also surely had to know what all the medications were, the settings, etc...
I am sure they will be glad to see me go.
Its hard to just be a patient apparently.

Christmas Shopping This Year--Thank God for the Internet

Christmas shopping. These two words tend to fill people either with dread or warm happy feelings. I definatly fall into the latter catergory. I LOVE CHRISTMAS. I love everything about it.
I love Christmas shopping. I really do.
I love making lists.
I love coming up with ideas and then shopping in the Christmas spirit for gifts for all of those that I love.
I love apple cider, and hot chocolate...and peppermint mochas from Starbucks!
I love celebrating our Saviors Birth, reading the bible stories...
I love teaching my Kids about it, and watching them learn.
I love the Hymns, Carols, all the Traditions.
I love the festivities.
I love the smell, the wonderful evergreen smell.
I love the decorations, especially the Tree every year!
I love the fires in the fireplace. ( there is a roaring one now as I write!)
I love baking Christmas Cookies. (even though I am SO not a baker)
I love thinking over my meal for Christmas day, all the planning involved, and most of all I LOVE COOKING the Christmas meal!
I love how excited my kids get.
I love the look on my kids faces Christmas morning when they come down the stairs and see their presents and stockings!
I LOVE CHRISTMAS. Its my Favorite Holdiay.

This year is a little bit of a let down for me. I am not in my house, cannot do my own decorations. No normal christmas shopping for me- I am in pain. I am going to have surgery and not be able to cook at all for christmas. But, I love the internet-for the first time ever I shopped from home, and got almost everything I needed for everyone online.
I am still in such a Happy Christmas Mood.
Thanks to my friend Julie I found something new that i love. ---
I love Pandora.com---Christmas music playing from the computer, the songs I like!

So, Merry Christmas to All!!!!!

Tatum is growing so Fast! 13.5 lbs at 8weeks!

Caroline's Soccer Season Fall 2009

Wow do I have a competitive little girl. She actually would cry if she played badly (which rarely happened). She scored her fair share of goals, but really we think she is blooming into a dynamite Midfielder. Man is she a good facilitator, defender, passer. She can work that field, and this is her First Year!!!! She LOVED it! And of course, Daddy was Coach!

I was just rereading my blog, found something I wanted to repost and comment/blog on.....

Monday, December 15, 2008

GOd is GOOD.
Good is Love.
He is the same yesterday, today , and tommorow no matter what he chooses to allow in my life.
This is the TRUTH.
Isiah 26:3 YOu will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts you.

When I started this post it was mostly to post pictures of my kids, for family and friends to check out....its now evolved. I have found the need to have a place to get out my thoughts. It helps me to reflect on what the Lord has done in my life and I find I want to share whats REALLY going on in my world with my closest and dearest famiy and friends that I send this blog out to. If anyone else happens upon it and is able to see the gospel of God through my life in any way I will feel so blessed and honored by that also.

(if all you want is the pics friends/fam just skip my wordy blogs!!!!!)

This week the above passage is my affirmation, my meditation and verse of the week. Its the thoughts I plan to think over, to dwell on in my head so I thought i would share. I had posted them a few days ago in a post but they are still whats mostly in my head so I choose to stick with them for this week as I am getting so much out of them.

Ok...here is my story..the short version...Over the last year, well really longer..there has been crisis after crisis in my life;personal mental crisis that was quite severe and had me out of work 6 months,loss of job 1, 4 family deaths,breast ca in one of closest friends,more personal health crisis(surgery and then current pleurisy) and last job crisis tha left us in bad financial crisis....I could probably go on....So whats going on GOD? why the onslaught? Why me? this is not fair...more whining at first and at various points I am sad to report but I want to be honest.

By about December of last year I clearly heard God's voice. I knew the WHy? I knew that God loved me. I felt it to the core. I knew that my GOD WAS GOOD. He was not punishing me. I am a stubborn person. My God loves his Childern and wants to mold us to his image. This is why I had to be BROKEN,crisis after crisis...obviously Erika doesn't learn fast...My God knows what I need. I heard him loud and clear tell me that I needed to learn TRUST, to put my trust first in HIM and then in JASON, my husband. Like I said I am stubborn.. I want to trust in ME first..and then fall back on Jasosn and God when Convienent...thats my immediate tendancy. That is not God's directions to us as women, nor as believers.
Now, finally, over a year later I feel like I finally am getting it. I KNOW IT. I UNDERSTAND GOD. I BELIEVE IT...well I am on my way. I am sure I doubt more than I should.I feel at peace in a way I just haven't for awhile. I know that to some it may sound like a lot to go through for one lesson. BUT THIS WAS A BIG LESSON.
God, I want to praise you for the crisis, the pain, because without it your ultimate plan for my life would not be. Without it your Glory would not shine through. I want to bring Glory to You in All that I do and say. I know I am far from that. I don't know what my next lesson will be, or if i am still on TRUST, as it is so big I am sure I will never truley learn it, but
JESUS BRING ON THE RAIN!!! I PRAISE YOU FOR IT!

December 11, 2009

Ok...So after all of that I thought I had learned my lesson... thought I was trusting and that I had landed a new WONDERFUL great PERFECT JOB, and low and behold I started trusting in ME ME ME again. I started trying to run my life again I am sorry to say. I am not saying I stopped being a christian, or stopped believing in GOd, but I think I put God in my "GOD BOX" that those of you that know me know what I mean..... let me explain again...
GOD BOX= I think of this as something that I try and put God in when
I can do it by myself,
so I try and shove God up on the shelf, in a GOD BOX...Oh, this I can handle...thats something I can do myself...When I forget that God wants to be with us in every little teeny aspect of our life. He wants me to wake each day with Him. For Him to be the first thought on my mind when I awake and the last when I go to sleep. He wants, CRAVES to be my best friend.
WHY OH WHY do I over and over forget this? I reread my blog and this seems to be a constant struggle for me. I am stubborn, YES I am. I am good at trusting me. Not as good at fully TRUSTING God and Jason as I am commanded. This is my constant prayer and my constant struggle. I guess everyone has their issue and this is what God has given me for now and what I am learning and struggling with. Sooooo.....Of course I found that YES, I am still on the same lesson TRUST.
I have encountered yet another major life crisis....Major Chronic Pelvice Pain that led to loss of job, another financial crisis, and now over six months later here we are deep in yet another crisis God had allowed for me. Yes, I did ask for the RAIN.

Here I am again, I am going to start blogging it all out again. I am making a new committment to myself to journal, to write, hopefully daily, what is happening in my life. Writing has always, always helped me in my life to figure out my thoughts. To order my life. I am letting you into my life, my journey through raising kids, my struggles, and hopefully some triumphs too?

Isiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
--for a long time this has been my meditation verse, the verse I want streaming through my mind.... I love this promise to me.
I want PEACE. I desire PEACE. I crave PEACE.
Dear Lord,
I continue to pray Bring the Rain, and those that read this, those that know me, especially if they don't know you, even if they do, may think that that is a crazy request. Because you have truley brought the RAIN, THUNDERSHOWERS WORTH, into my life over the last two years. But I truley still ask this. I ask because I feel like I still have so much to learn. I feel like I am so far from where I want to be with you. I feel like I have not come close to learning to trust you as I should. To trust Jason as I should. I am so easily reliant on ME. STILL, after all you have brought me through. So yes, I ask you to BRING ON THE RAIN Lord.