The Ups and Downs of Our World

GOd is GOOD.
Good is Love.
He is the same yesterday, today , and tommorow no matter what he chooses to allow in my life.
This is the TRUTH.
Isiah 26:3 YOu will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts you

When I started this post it was mostly to post pictures of my kids, for family and friends to check out....its now evolved. I have found the need to have a place to get out my thoughts. It helps me to reflect on what the Lord has done in my life and I find I want to share whats REALLY going on in my world with my closest and dearest famiy and friends that I send this blog out to. If anyone else happens upon it and is able to see the gospel of God through my life in any way I will feel so blessed and honored by that also.

(if all you want is the pics friends/fam just skip my wordy blogs!!!!!)

This week the above passage is my affirmation, my meditation and verse of the week. Its the thoughts I plan to think over, to dwell on in my head so I thought i would share. I had posted them a few days ago in a post but they are still whats mostly in my head so I choose to stick with them for this week as I am getting so much out of them.

Ok...here is my story..the short version...Over the last year, well really longer..there has been crisis after crisis in my life;personal mental crisis that was quite severe and had me out of work 6 months,loss of job 1, 4 family deaths,breast ca in one of closest friends,more personal health crisis(surgery and then current pleurisy) and last job crisis tha left us in bad financial crisis....I could probably go on....
So whats going on GOD? why the onslaught? Why me? this is not fair...more whining at first and at various points I am sad to report but I want to be honest. By about December of last year I clearly heard God's voice. I knew the WHy? I knew that God loved me. I felt it to the core. I knew that my GOD WAS GOOD. He was not punishing me. I am a stubborn person. My God loves his Childern and wants to mold us to his image. This is why I had to be BROKEN,crisis after crisis...obviously Erika doesn't learn fast...My God knows what I need.
I heard him loud and clear tell me that I needed to learn TRUST, to put my trust first in HIM and then in JASON, my husband. Like I said I am stubborn.. I want to trust in ME first..and then fall back on Jasosn and God when Convienent...thats my immediate tendancy. That is not God's directions to us as women, nor as believers.

Now, finally, over a year later I feel like I finally am getting it. I KNOW IT. I UNDERSTAND GOD. I BELIEVE IT...well I am on my way. I am sure I doubt more than I should.
I feel at peace in a way I just haven't for awhile. I know that to some it may sound like a lot to go through for one lesson. BUT THIS WAS A BIG LESSON.
God, I want to praise you for the crisis, the pain, because without it your ultimate plan for my life would not be. Without it your Glory would not shine through. I want to bring Glory to You in All that I do and say. I know I am far from that.

I don't know what my next lesson will be, or if i am still on TRUST, as it is so big I am sure I will never truley learn it, but JESUS BRING ON THE RAIN!!! I PRAISE YOU FOR IT!